She was worried
She was always worried about her headscarf
You see it was a special one
She would touch her head just to see if it was still there
She was always afraid that the wind would come and snatch her beautiful headpiece from her
Once a bus door tried to grab it, the passengers never forgot her passionate appeals to release it
This was her explanation for her fear of public transport
She would adjust it, make it tighter, make it just a tad loose
She would try to make it fit her now hairless skull just so, she would fiddle around
Until her headscarf fit just right
She would wear a brighter one each day
As it each were in the competition to make her daughter smile
These pieces of colorful head covering were all she had to bring joy to her loved ones
Every single day she would beam and say “mama you look beautiful, choose a brighter one”
And she would have to choose another headscarf less stained with tears
These pieces of brightness, she told her worn out reflection meant there was still life to be lived

She was worried,
She was always worried about her brassiere
You see it was a special one
One that fit right, one made JUST FOR HER
Ha! Because she was special like that…*finger snap*
She carried it everywhere with her, she dreaded being without it so much she had a spare made
She carried it in her nabeba kilakitu handbag, next to her master card and her health insurance packet
She would put on clean white underwear each morning, just like her mother taught her
And attach her medical bracelet just in case she dint make it back home that day
She never forgot to put on her special bra though
It made her feel more of a woman than she ever was
She was worried,
She was always worried on Thursday, it was chemo day
Still looking at her tired face in the reflection of the tired green tile in the hospice
She thought “I look fabulous!”
Even with one breast, no hair, no weight, no conviction
She loved how her headscarf made her feel invincible, like she had the power to be normal
Like daughters and headscarves made her superhuman. No cancer could beat that!

© amina jasho