Today marks the 21st week since I started writing the #writethinking  series. When Wamathai approached me to run something here every Tuesday, he said I could write anything that I wanted, attend events and critic them, observe the online community and type a word or two. It was simply an open space for commentary posts to break the monotony of the fiction in it and to allow for discussion on issues affecting us. As someone mentioned yesterday on twitter, in the blog orb, it is never good to be diverse in content. There is always need to identify that thing that you think you are good at and focus on it. It is good to have some specificity in your content in order to cull the following that you want and keep it constant. It is actually easier for you as a writer. So we settled on a writers’ pot kind of content.

Allow me to be narcissistic and blow some air into my balloon this week. Writethinking makes me feel alive. It reminds me that I still have inks in me. It gives me the pressure that I need to deliver every Tuesday. I run a blog yes, but my blog is diverse. It is random. Again, without the pressure, I cannot write. If there isn’t pressure, there has to be a supplement to nudge me…like stress. Mostly stress. But I digress.

To post weekly is a demanding task. Tuesdays come too quickly. In between lazing around, tweeting,  and looking for rent,  there isn’t much time to observe the world around and come up with something ‘blogworth’. My main reason for writing here was to test how unswerving I can be in writing to be able to run a column if ever I get one at some point in my life. My basket however has come out of this series with more than just one fruit. I have grown as a writer. I have tentacles. I have learnt.

I have learnt that having someone read your work to a point where they remember it months later, even just one person per year, is a big deal. I cannot explain the feeling I got when I met someone who had actually mastered the name of this column. The overwhelming feeling I get when someone randomly wishes me luck on Monday night as I struggle to put something together.

I have learnt that with it comes a responsibility to deliver. I have for two Tuesday been unable to post anything. In those two weeks, I felt like a failure. I don’t usually just write it because someone is going to read. I write it because I need to. I have to. I felt like my blood supply was suddenly cut off and the veins filled up with cold air. I felt inadequate that I couldn’t write for those few people that have managed to follow this series from week to week. Thus, I have come to realise that you can never tell the reader that this week you are slightly contented and because lack of depression is not a nudge enough, there is no post. There are never explanations. Here, in a non-evil kind of way, no one cares about that finger that can’t type or a mind that is too clogged to construct good sentences.

I have also learnt that as a writer, you will fail miserably in writing and deliver posts that are as interesting as sticking a needle through the eyeball. Sometimes you will write and feel that you have written something fleshy, well cushioned. Other times you write highly malnourished posts where the only warmth in them is the use of heavier synonyms. It is ok. These things happen. Write anyway.

I have learnt that not every reader will agree with you. Yours are simply thoughts from your mind, no matter how well researched, or well versed. It is an opinion. Your opinion and that is where it ends. You must therefore appreciate all the comments and allow everyone a space to agree or disagree. In all these cases, be dignified in receiving. If you cannot allow someone to disagree with your writing, then you have no business writing for people.

This is just a dot of sand in the sea of what I have amassed, but for those 21 weeks, I am very grateful for the readers who constantly read these easy words, and for the host who has given me this space.

21 weeks of WriteThinking, still counting!