(Part 1)

“Honey, I told you no one would see us. My door at the back is reserved only for the prominent people like me. This day is ours to enjoy till dusk,” I could see his large feet but the ladies were not visible. Oh, I realized, she was being carried to bed, if only such romance was being shown to the wife! Within a second clothes were flying all over, a tie here, a shirt there, a thong smacking the lucky wall…it was raining clothes and in a moment the bed started a rhythm I wished I didn’t recognize. The ooohs! and aaahhs! were beating my ears like cold hailstones in a storm. My only prayer was for the camera and the microphone to be working,

“Pastor dear, oh, Ken dear why can’t you marry me dear, I will leave that foolish sot for you, just divorce that useless bitch…” At that point my ears stood up suddenly, the voice was definitely familiar, and in fact it was a voice I had heard a few hours earlier!

“Cynn dear you know that is tough let’s just enjoy it this way. If I divorce no one will come to my church and I will lose all my influence. Please let’s finish first and we will talk later honey…”

“No Ken, I have lived a lie for three years now, I have aborted thrice coz I don’t want his baby. I am just waiting for you dear. Do you imagine surviving with a good for nothing voyeur calling himself an investigative journalist? When he called me to say he is going out of town I called the one I love and that’s you!” My head started spinning, my eyes started watering and my groin suddenly became hot with piss. Was this my wife cheating on me and was I the hapless witness? And what was that she said about abortions? So I would be a father of three already by now? And all that ridicule I lapped from my dad over my low libido! Calm down, calm down, I told myself. Worse things have happened. I couldn’t risk coming from under the bed. The shame and embarrassment would have made my breakfast spill all over the carpet. The silent whirl of the tape recorder in my shirt pocket was my only solace as I knew I had evidence to confront her but how?

“Ken honey, you remember that time I forgave you over the affair with Linda? You promised me you are going to divorce your wife and marry me. Do you imagine if I had told my husband over the affair? Steve would have told J.K definitely so as to get a promotion and what about you? Your congregation would have been livid knowing you had an affair with Sleazy Magazine owner’s wife?”

“Cynthia please let’s not go to the past, we will get a way out of this all. I can even arrange for my wife to disappear, you know, and then being single again I will take you!” My ears were already hot now. It was as if someone had accidentally delved a sword in my heart and then just for fun, twisted it over and over again. God what did I do to deserve this! I pitied J.K the man who never lost a chance to parade his wife in public as the paragon of fidelity. Nevertheless, I wished for the consolation of his ignorance. As they say, what you don’t know can’t hurt you!

“Honey we have to go. I have to attend the convention at Uhuru Park. There is a politician who wants to get saved just to win my congregation’s support and I can’t resist his offer. I promise we will resolve this issue later but Steve should NEVER get any hint,” The pastor was now in his element.

“After hearing the submissions from both sides, I still have one question for the defendant. You still stand by your earlier statement that you accept the divorce because you can’t desist from checking under your bed before you sleep?” The judge’s baritone boomed throughout the court room jolting even the deaf. There was laughter but if could read my face, I knew there was only pain and humiliation. On my table was an envelope containing the video and audio tapes that could incriminate my wife but I had already taken enough ridicule. Through her lawyer, she had argued that my suspicious behaviour could be a sign of maniac depression and I never refuted their claims. From where I sat, I could see J.K clutching his wife’s waist as if their love was born in cupid’s bedroom, if only he knew. At the last bench was Pastor Ken resplendent in a silk suit.

“Young man, your counsel has advised the court that you refused to take a mental examination and in a case like this, the court has no power to force you. In view of this then it is the considered judgement of the court that the divorce is granted as per the wishes of Ms. Cynthia Karenge. On the division of the property the court will set a future date for a hearing, next case!”

I walked out without ever setting my eyes on her and now as I stand on my balcony looking at the beautiful kids playing, I feel nothing but betrayal when I remember mine ended somewhere in a hospital incinerator.

© chrispus kimaru (his work)