Baby girl,
The afandes wake us at four
In the early morning
As the familiar rumble of guts
Negotiate the murky corridors
That smell of potent body odour
I’m thinking of bacon and eggs
The scent of your sweet perfume
But my thoughts are interrupted
By the 27 men in the 2 man cell next door

They knocked over the bucket
Containing the bi-products
Of the prison’s cafeteria system
They were fighting for some part
Of some poor prisoner’s anatomy
My eyes adjust to the penetrating light
Brought about by the afande’s torch
I shiver as my face links up with the crystal cold waterdrops
From the iron bucket placed outside my exclusive cell

Afande leads us to the workshop
I standout…the trustee of the block
These hours they fly so fast
Like those Airforce jets on Kenyatta Day
I oversee my fellow mahabusu
Making number plates
For the KRA…the Arturs…Election campaigns
information stored on CD

This is no Grand Regency
But still my heart is at rest
Life is peaceful
Memories of your voice filter
They filter softly through my fibres

I’m well taken care of
Moody Hoppa at my disposal
I have inherited Tom Cholmondeley’s privilleges
Mobile phone, satellite phone, DSTV,
NTV, KTN , internet
In addition to the Holy Bible ..
.I daily read the Daily Nation
and on Friday I get my copy of The Pulse
My food I get on time…real food made real good

In the evenings..when the 27 men in the 2 man cell
Are fighting for some part of some poor prisoner’s anatomy
I’m watching PrisonBreak, Champions League football
News at nine…I’m doing fine
Having you here would make this setting so divine
I hear for just a few shillings
The afandes can organize a conjugal visit for us
So…what do you think?

If I had my way I would stay locked up forever
But thoughts of you…thoughts of you
Make me look forward to the day I leave here
I could go on and on
But this piece of paper… sadly is not enough
So when you get this..flash me…call me…email me
For I long to hear from you
pssst..get me that tiny lap top and a safaricom modem
smuggle them inside the large print bible..
I suddenly developed eye problems..
I can only read large the bible..

Lovingly yours,
Smooth criminal

© Mike Kwambo (Read his blog here)