To my dear unborn baby
I write you this letter
At a very low point
In what i call my life

I love you beyond limits
And nothing will change that
And i need you to know
That i have always loved you

Even when you were
But a distant thought
In the vast corners
Of my heart and mind

You hold a piece of me
A piece of my heart
That no one wil ever hold
Or come close to

I would gladly go to war
And take on a legion
Or more soldiers for you
I want you to know this

I also want you to know
That my greatest fear
From this point in life
Is letting you down

I am trying my best
To be the best mother
And teacher to you
And not to fail you

Doubts are creeping in
And i think i am failing
To live to your expectations
I can’t handle that

You are not a book
Or a page in a book
That a mistake can be erased
And all will be well

Any mistake that i make
Will leave you with scars
And haunt you always
I can’t live with that..
I love you so much
My mind orders me
To give you a chance
For a much better life

In the care of a stranger
A better mother…
But i don’t think i can…
I know i can’t

This will be hard
We are embarking on
A very long journey
That only time will

I know you will shine
Because a part of you
Is a part of me
And are united as one

They give you strenght
Stability and comfort
Yoy are me as i am you
And i will always love you

At times it may not show
But that does not mean
That i stopped loving
The one keeping me alive

I still don’t believe
That i am the perfect
Mother to raise you
Let alone give you life

But who am i
To deny you a chance
To live a full life?
What right do i have?

My doubts are many
And well placed
But i wil not fail you
I will do my best

To give you a good life
To protect and shield you
To love you no matter what
To be your support system

My dear unborn child,
No matter what i say
Or do as you grow up
Remember my love for you.

© bridget mutua