Arno was the first to see her. He was somewhere in Westlands driving when he saw her. He almost rammed into the car in front of him. He was mesmerized. She was very hard to ignore, at least a part of her was. The text he sent me spoke volumes. It read in part “….huyo dame amejibeba, wacha tu”. Though I was amused, i did not think much of it.

Teroh was next. He called me with a lot of excitement in his voice. “This is going to be interesting”, I thought to myself. He proceeded to tell me how he’d just messed up his shirt by pouring a large portion of his tusker on it after he gawked on a woman and forgot he was sipping on his favorite drink. Part of what he said was, “……..kubwa kubwa, nono nono”.

Then Gene’s turn came. She had come onto his show as part of the audience. The show was about to begin and he was busy on stage when he saw her. Whatever was in his hands at the time, he dropped onto his feet. He doesn’t remember much after that. “……waist ndogo ndogo, chini walalalala” is the only thing I was able to get out of him later that day. The full story came after.

And then Richie saw her. It was Wacky Wednesday at steers and she was being served. He was in the queue. She got served, left the queue, the queue moved, he moved with it. When he saw her, he got stuck somewhere between moving forward and stopping. Then he tripped and fell forward knocking over the woman who was in front of him. He was too traumatized to talk about it afterwards; it took a couple of days to get anything out of him.

Kash and Simo were next. They were having lunch. Just when Kash had put a particularly large piece of chicken in his mouth, she walked by. Predictably, he choked. Simo didn’t get a chance to get a good look at her he was busy rushing over to check if his friend was ok.

I, Cindy and everybody else mentioned above met later that week. We were at Hooters, watching football, catching up. Stories of women with well formed rears came up, five to be exact. I was half listening since my team was playing. What happened next is the stuff of movies. One minute we were seated, each to his/her own and the next all hell broke loose. Someone yelled “that’s her”, we turned to look and then everyone except Cindy and I stood at once overturning the table and its contents. They ran outside and we followed. The object of their interest was outside talking to someone. It turned out that this was the person they had all seen. I have to admit her behind was impressive. It seemed to have a life of its own. It was huge and very shapely and she had an amazingly small waist. I could understand what all the fuss was about.

© wamathai warugongo 2009