For many of us, our blogs are where we go to howl. They are hankies for our tears and ears for whispers of gossip that no one out here wants to waste time listening to. They are walls we drive our fists and head through when we cannot puff up some weed clouds to get over and done when at the edge of it. I do not know what writing does to you, but among the many things it does to me is cleanse me up. Just like my twitter TL, I can say anything I want and not care what anyone thinks about it. It is mine.
However, this sharing of thoughts, the ranting and the weeping on a blog is somewhat becoming a difficult thing. Mojo is of course there, but the courage to strip yourself naked to a crowd of readers who have already met you, who know your mother, know your girlfriend and all is a tad scary. I have wanted to blog about many a thing, about people, about myself and stuff I am going though. I have wanted to strip myself naked and just put it out there because it always feels good when poured down into writing. I have wanted to say things not because I want to be read but because this weight needs a way out of me, the shackles need to be undone, one way or another, and the only easiest way I know is by writing.
I tried once. I wrote about something I had not ever shared with anyone before, not even my family. It is probably one of the posts that has received many hits on my blog. For months after posting it, I felt naked. I battled with the idea of pulling it all down, then stopping immediately after logging into wordpress. I could see the stares on my twitter timeline. The death of previous me and the unspoken element of association with the post. I felt naked! Like everyone could see through me. Like a piece of glass. That nothing else was left for me. I felt defenceless. Exposed.
The nakedness this post brought with it has left me unable to blog. I know I am not alone. Many of us have files after files of posts piled up in our computers. Things we want say but we can’t really let an eye see because we are afraid of the dot joiner readers. Those that can’t let *Mary-not-her-real-name be just *Mary-not-her-real-name. As someone mentioned yesterday, with the death of the invisible ghosts and aliases that people were twitter handles, and the stepping out of these closets for meet ups and all, it slowly became a hard thing to blog about some things. We are all in the same inner circle. Blogging about a night out and #chipsfungarism thereafter might soon be at the verge of dying out. We are all curving in into one crowd. Tweeps drink together, go bowling together, invite each other to church service, do everything together!
I know that a writer should be fearless; as plucky as to call a spade a spade even when the spade is a best friend. However, sometimes it just doesn’t feel safe. As someone once said, If we were to be charged for the thoughts that run through our minds, we would all probably end up on the hangman’s noose. There is a lot of incommunicables that run through our minds. The little there is to communicate is however put at a limitation by other factors, with ‘what-will-people-think?’ being one of the focal.
However, I hear fear in a writer is the beginning of mediocre writing. Tackling that which you think you are safe with. A friend of mine told me to make sure that my writing is good enough to take me to prison. Ruffle some feathers. Do not be too complacent with things. Unfortunately, there is a lot that is always at risk when it comes to fearless blogging. The only other option would be to blog anonymously, but for the most of us that are keen to detail, we will figure you out after four sentences!
© Jacque Ndinda | blog | Twitter|
Related posts:
10 Comments
wiselar
I have up to 7 blog-posts I banged out but have no courage to post them… They might never see the light of day. I might change some detail.
I envy anyone who wasn’t quick to go to a meet up. Or if they did, the didn’t reveal their twitter/online ID. It must give them so much freedom.
Is this what @iddsalim calls #PussyBlogger[s/ing]?
28 Jun
Edwinabuga
I can’t even front. I can not would not will never even flirt with the idea of chronicling some of the thoughts that reside in the soul of my mind. I’m too afraid. I know that makes me a wuss/pussy blogger, but that would be a compliment compared to what folks might imagine if I striped my mind naked!
28 Jun
Kbaab
Wiselar, Edwin and Jaquie…I think it’s time I took a break from blogging and welcomed guest writers to my space…Unleash the hidden posts!
28 Jun
Wamathai
It happens.. Sometimes i have a banging post in mind but it involves another party & i’m afraid of the repurcussions if they ever read it. In most cases they are still in my life & well i wouldn’t want to jeopardize the relationship we have..
I could write it anonymously but that would take the oomph out of it in my opinion.
28 Jun
Nyambura
I feel Wiselar on this one…I too do have so many pieces I wrote but still languish in the drafts box…some it’s because they feel half hearted the rest it’s because they are so personal, they are soul-scary. I usually admire people who can talk/write about their most private thoughts be it in a blog or with their friends…i usually chicken out; fearing that once out, people won’t quite ‘get it’
28 Jun
Mwangi
I think as a writer you must bare it all just like actors since faking a story is next to impossible and then again there is the premise that you will always get caught anyway. I keep a lot nay almost all of my personal life out of my blog but then again I hardly have any pulitzer aspirations.
28 Jun
Ndinda
@Wiselar same thing here. I have so many posts that I haven’t had the courage to put up. I always feel watched.
@Kbaab3 hahaha problem is, sometimes even the guest posts don’t hide you that much.
@edwinabuga my thought exactly
@wamathai anonymous writing has a prize to pay…loss of a relationship, and the persona element is kind of killed…sort of becomes fictional, or even unbelievable. its good to own your words. But then…..
@nyambura so what do we do about this fear?
@mwangi I agree, but the horror of bearing all that!!!!!!!
29 Jun
Joliea
They’ve all said what I’d have said. Good post.
1 Jul
lonesomebounty
As a writer you should never be afraid. You have the task of saying for the rest of us what we cannot bear to think about.
The best stories are those we share from the pits of our heart. I recently came across a magazine that is dedicated to honest writing and I can tell you that it was amazing reading it. Have a look at it please http://www.thesunmagazine.org
We are all in a journey and learning something new everyday. You have been learning the value of courage. Are you brave to live up to the guts it calls from you?
5 Jul
Cinnamon
I like this post because it says exactly what i think of writing.
I know about naked writing because i like to call myself an emotional blogger.
While i could write about anything, i prefer to write about what’s going on with me and how i feel about the weird and not so weird things that happen in my life.
I like to put it all out there, but I had a friend once tell me that i should slow down on the blogging therapy for a while. Now i have almost 80 posts that should have gone up immediately i wrote them but now i’m struggling to pick out what should go up, and what shouldn’t.
I agree with lonesomebounty, a writer has the task of saying that which others cannot bear to think about or maybe even say. Regardless of the kind of material and content you write about.
DO it, not for others, but for yourself.
5 Jul
Leave a Comment