By Their Numbers
By their large number
I can tell from afar,
That they seek salvation
From all their lies
And inability to show justice
To those who need it most
By their large number
I can tell from afar,
That they seek salvation
From all their lies
And inability to show justice
To those who need it most
(Read part 3 here)
I have learned to put him first
To let him have his way at least most of the time
To put my needs aside
And to please him so as to prevent him from straying
I have learned to hide fear
To take my time instead of rushing things
To let love take its course.
I have learned to play, to dress up in the bedroom
To use my make up at home, to do my hair, to buy clothes for the moment
And to play a few games
I have learned to understand, to pick up his hints, to try and do most of them
To try and compromise with him, to try and have fun
I have learned to let him teach me, to be his student, to be patient with him
I have learned that faking is not always good and neither is being too honest
To let passion overcome me and to share it with him
© Bridget Mutua
(Read part 5 here)
My day and my nights
Are one and eternal
Without you by my side
To show me the sunrise,
The midday sun and the sunset
Letting you go is hard
It’s harder than i thought
I knew deep inside me
That one day we would part
I didn’t think of it much
It didn’t occur to me
No matter how many tears i shed
Not even an atom can bring you
Neither can the river that i cry.
If i were the chosen child
I would not want to see anyone cry
Instead, I would like to see you smile.
If i were the chosen child
I would not want to see anyone cry
I would not want my memories to bring tears.
If I were the chosen child
I would like to see you all laughing
I would like my memories to bring laughter.
Although i am not the chosen child
I know deep down in my heart
That you would not want to bring tears.
Throughout your life, you strived to bring joy
It gave us a motivation and a goal
Now it gives us pleasure to see you rest.
Your legacy will go on for many generations to come
Never will it be forgotten.
Now as we r to see you off
We will cry tears of sadness and joy
But we will always remember you in smiles.
© bridget mutua
(Read part 4 here)
I have learned to watch
To stand back for a while and let them fall at times
That it is healthy for them.
That that is the way they learn, they learn from their mistakes.
I have learned to catch them, to break their fall
To be their support, to be there for them
To be ready for anything and to offer advice.
I have learned to be harsh when the times called for it
I have learned to do my best for them to help them prepare for an unknown future.
I have learned to understand them, to understand their choices tough as they may be
And not to make excuses for their failures and mistakes.
I have learned to let them be, to let them live for today
And not always for tomorrow.
To let them fly away and try to settle down
I have learned to be happy for them and let them grow
And live to fight tomorrow
© Bridget Mutua
(Read part 2 here)
I have learned to trust to talk to my husband
Instead of always running to my girls
I have learned to make him my confidant
To make him my best friend
I have learned to listen to let him unwind by talking about his day
To let my needs become secondary no matter how tired i am
And to give advice
I have learned to laugh to laugh at his not so funny and sometimes silly jokes
To smile and cheer him up and to be his rainbow as he is mine
I have learned to be strong for the both us,
To offer him my shoulder to lean on
To offer my support and to stand back and let him cry
I have learned to be there for him and to help him pick up the pieces
And to help put the pieces together, hold them together as time binds them together.
I have learned to be truthful though sometimes i may b harsh
And others times i may be too gentle
I have learned to let him be
To let him be himself and to accept him as he is
© Bridget Mutua
(Read part 4 here)
(Read part 1 here)
I have learned many lessons
I have learned to love again
To open up my heart
For people to see and judge
To try and cope with heart break
Though I’m never ready
I have learned to love again
To accept support from another
To let someone break my fall
I have learned to accept a man
For who and what he is
Without trying to change him
I have learned to compromise
To argue and come to an agreement
To let the past stay in the past
And not to open up old wounds
I have learned to see conflict from afar and avoid it.
I have learned to love and work
That love is a work in progress
That love grows stronger after each trial and temptation
And if it weakens and fails you were not meant to be.
I have learned to work to go to the office for half a day
And before leaving the house to clean and tidy it up
To come back and cook for him and to handle it all with love
I have learned to ask for help, to lean on him when i need him
To step back and let him help and to let him carry me
When I can’t walk or move
I have learned to love him endlessly.
© Bridget Mutua
(Read part 3 here)
From a young and tender age
I started learning life’s lessons
Some lessons I learnt easily
Others the hardest way
And others in the strangest way
And yet am not done learning.
I learned how to b independent
To be my own support
To shelter my heart from heartache
And failed miserably at that though not always
And i learned how to survive.
I learned that time can be your best friend
And at the same time it could b your worst enemy
Though it heals all wounds time can also open them up.
I learned that patience pays and violence is not the only way
I saw that a good number of sayings are true, very true
And also comforting like karma
I learned that men are the same or at least most of them
That they are after one thing and once you give it up
They walk away and label you
At least i didn’t learn the hard way though i have seen it many times
I have learned to trust no man, to love a few people
To befriend many people
To let bygones be bygones and to move on with life.
© Bridget Mutua
(Read part 2 here)
When i look in the mirror
A stranger stares back..
I don’t see myself any more
I do not recognize
The sad sorrowful eyes
Looking back at me
I don’t know what happened
Or when it happened
But some where along the way
I lost myself
Trying to find myself
Is like looking
For a dandelion
In a field of dandelions
I want to scream for help
But my voice is gone
Or it can’t be heard…
Either way, it doesn’t matter
Gone is the chance i had
To be helped by some one else
Now i stand alone
And i must do this
By myself to be free
Other wise, it won’t work
I’ll always be a slave
To my rescuer’s demands
And whatever he may think of.
For my life won’t be mine…
All this soul searching…
Am i looking hard enough
Or in the right places?
I feel more lost now
Than when i began
I’m not sure any more…
This is so confusing,
Hard and frustrating
All in one…
Weighing me down
Patience is said to be a virtue
And though it is my blessing
It is slowly wearing thin
From all these ‘weights”…
© bridget mutua
