So if am writing this, you know am escaping. Escaping to that part of my mind where everything is calm and full of unending tranquility. I am a mess.
These past few months have not been without drama, pain and eye opening realizations. I am beat, from all the confusion, unanswered questions and mental agony. You see, I loved and lost in the most stupid way. I let myself be seduced by mind and what could have been. In my head, I liked him for who he was and what I could have made him to be. He was my perfect project. Perfect enough for me to shape and mold to my desires. And for a while it worked out fine. I was happy, full of imagination and creativity. I rode the horse high and never did I think of once stopping to look back. He was perfect, perfect for me to teach, to cuddle, to kiss and to eventually love. He came with a naivety that tagged at my heart strings, his puppy eyes made me imagine the impossible and his smile, damn his disarming smile, if only I had known it was as cunning as it was beguiling. I was a woman in process and the journey for me had just begun. If only I knew. Continue reading