Dear Diary,
Today he left me,
And I wish it was only to another town,
I wish it was only temporary,
So that I could relieve the excitement,
The joy and sometimes pain I felt,
At the almost chances,
I wish he could hear me,
Tell him the truth I’ve held all these years.

Dear Diary,
I watch from afar the trains of black,
And wish I had been part of his life,
I see the flowers, the tears and hugs,
And wish that I were gone, gone with him,
Then maybe we could live the life that never was,
Then maybe I would not regret ever meeting him,
And not ever grabbing the opportunities,
Chances life threw at me through the years.

Dear Diary,
I remember his eyes that morning,
And the chill it sent right through me,
I remember his smile and my outstretched hand,
And how he wasn’t looking at me,
I remember looking down in shame,
When she came forth and hugged him.
He was meant to be mine, I tell you,
He was meant to be mine!

Dear Diary,
Through the years I dreamt on,
When he worked next door to me,
And we would meet at the coffee shop,
And all I managed was a wry smile,
And he would smile back and say hello,
Shake my hand and look into my eyes,
Did he feel the same way I did?
Did he feel the chill too?

Dear Diary,
And then we had lunch together,
And he told me about this girl,
Of fair skin, and beautiful hair,
The girl he truly loved.
And he told me I was his friend,
And asked me how it felt,
To be alone those long lonely nights,
I smiled and lied to him; I smiled and lied to him.

Dear Diary,
I remember the day he married her,
And confessed to love her ever,
And he teared when he vowed to her,
And she smiled when she vowed to him,
And I sat still as my world froze,
Because I knew he was mine not hers,
But he reminded me that I was his friend,
Always had been, always would be.

Dear Diary,
I moved away from him,
And tried to forget his smile,
I tried to change my life,
He said it really hurt, the way I’d changed,
And I never told him the truth,
I never told him how I cried at night,
And wish I was the one next to him,
He must have hated me then, yes he must have.

Dear Diary,
She called me one day,
Years after I was long gone,
She found his blue gold journal,
Saying how he had loved me.
And how he wished I knew,
How he wanted to hold me,
And simply tell me the truth.
He thought I never would comply,
Because I was his special friend, I was his special friend.

Dear Diary,
That’s the day she left,
With her fair skin and beautiful hair,
I wish I had gone to him then,
Because maybe he would be mine,
But my pride would not let me reach him,
And his ego would not let him call me,
And that is the day he went,
The day he ceased to live, the day he ceased to live.

Dear Diary,
He packed his car to go after her,
And he drove at manic speed,
He picked his phone and called her,
But she cursed him, he slacked,
Did not see the corner on the road,
His car rolled, his belt tore into his chest,
He cried out my name,
And breathed his last that day, breathed his last that day.

Dear Diary,
If only I could reach him, shake him to life,
If only my kiss would wake him and bring him back,
If only.

12 thoughts on “Dear Diary: I loved him

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