I’m Afraid

Loving someone gives me shivers
Not because I can’t but because I fear.

I Fear I will love and lose before I enjoy
I fear I will love and not be loved back

I feel like am lost and can’t find my way
Back to the one I’ve been holding out for

I fear that the love I get will not be enough
To make us stay together and get old together

I fear I will give so much and get so little
Feel I will be left unsatisfied and prickled

I fear I will suffer more pain than happiness
I fear to feel neglected and needless

I fear that most of all
I will never get to feel what people call love

That feeling of total completeness
Because you share your life with another

I fear that maybe I had it and let it go
And didn’t even notice it

But my biggest fear
Is that maybe, just maybe I’m the one building the fear
And so I’m afraid

© Jane Wairimu

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